Long weekend

These days, I don't look forward to the weekends like most other people; I look forward to the work week. Why? Because I get time to myself without the constant "I need," "I want," and "Give me..."

Let's see, this past weekend, DH did the following: cooked 1 dinner; mowed the lawn; fed the baby one bottle; changed one diaper; did 3 loads of laundry (and that does not include putting the clothes away; he leaves that for me to do).

Here's what I did: planned the coming week's meals and did the grocery shopping, carrying a 20 lb infant in a carrier; pumped 8x for the baby's bottles; fed the baby about 10 bottles; fed the baby 5 servings of solids; made fresh papaya baby food; made lunch once; cooked dinner once; gave the baby a bath; took the baby on a long walk to the park and the petting zoo; did a load of dishes; cleaned the kitchen; changed all diapers but one.

So at the half-price bookstore on Saturday, I picked up a new game. I don't get to game very often, mostly because I don't have a lot of time. Yesterday, I installed the game. It's a Sims-type game, pretty fun. Yesterday evening, all I wanted was a little time to myself to play a game and veg out. DH didn't even take care of the baby for an hour before he was asking me to come out and help. I took care of the baby all day every day except for that one hour.

So then I finally got the baby to bed at 8, and sat down at the computer. I wanted to play for 2 hours and then go to bed. At 9, I hooked up my pump and was happily playing away. Then DH comes in and says, "I'm going to go lie down, when you're done can you come give me a backrub?" Now, granted, I had offered to give him a backrub a couple of days previously and then he kept forgetting to remind me to do it before I got into bed. But, last night, he meant that when I was done PUMPING, he wanted me to come give him a backrub. So basically after the long-ass day that I'd had, I had to cut my playtime short in order to give him a backrub.

I let him play on the computer all he wants. I don't get that opportunity hardly ever. He thinks that I sit around all day at home doing nothing. I'm WORKING. Yes, I sometimes take a nap on my lunch break. But I'm doing my job. I'm not just playing video games all day. I don't have time to do it. He gets home from work and gets on the computer. I go get the baby at 5 and spend the evening playing with him, feeding him, bathing him, etc. I'm lucky if DH will hold the baby while I'm fixing dinner.

I'm just frustrated at the inequality in our roles at the moment. I know that he grew up with a mom who did all of the housework and child-rearing, while his dad earned the money and then came home and sat around and read the paper. But he knows that I'm not that way, and that I expect help around the house. But I don't get it. If I want the living room cleaned, I do it all and then he vacuums. Is that fair? No. Two hours of work for me = 20 minutes for him.

Argh! I'm just annoyed.

Then when I was trying to get finished up and give him his stupid backrub, I went from the computer room to the kitchen to rinse my pumping gear, and stepped in cat vomit. And THEN I saw that he'd left the meat loaf I'd made just sitting in the crock pot. Hello? You can't put that in the fridge? So I had to do that, clear out the fridge shelf to put the crock on. Then I went into the bedroom and he was laying down waiting for the backrub, and I couldn't find the blue massager that we use, and I was getting mad and frustrated. THEN he started with the "you know what, just forget it." WHATEVER!! F.U.C.K!!!

*I* don't get backrubs. I throw my back out on a regular basis getting the baby in and out of our low-ass car, because he won't let me go get a minivan. We can afford it, but no. So I just suffer with my aches and pains while he complains about his and gets backrubs.

I'm just annoyed and I'll get over it. I think I'm PMS'ing.